What I Couldn't Say
by CrimsonZero
Summary: A collection of short stories, portraying the relationship between Anzu and Yami. These are the things they wish they could say to each other but never could. Actions speak louder than words anyway.
1. I Won't Let You Disappear

**WHAT I COULDN'T SAY**

And so begins a journey of knowing, of passion, of redemption. Of love, hate, life, and death.

Basically, a set of short drabbles and vignettes about the relationship between Anzu and Yami Yuugi/Atemu. (Perhaps, if I feel brave enough, I'll test the waters with other characters, too.) Ranging from AU to canon to speculative future-fics, I hope to satisfy all you readers out there and improve my writing skills, as well.

I do realize I'm probably jumping on the bandwagon with this but oh well. It's something to get my rusty mind going. Oh, before I forget…

_Disclaimer:_ I do NOT own anything Kazuki Takahashi owns. That includes Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

_Title:_ I Won't Let You Disappear._  
Timeline: _DOMA period, right after Yuugi was taken via the Orichalcos._  
Pairings:_ None. Hint of one-sided Anzu&Yami. You might have to squint._  
Rating:_ K_  
Word count: _707

* * *

A ghost.

That's how Anzu saw him when he returned. She swore she almost saw him fade into oblivion when Rebecca had brazenly threw her arms around him. Was that what he was, underneath the regality, the larger-than-life persona? The young brunette closed her eyes and shook her head in fear. When she opened them again, she found him looking at her… No, that wasn't right. He was looking _through_ her, as if she wasn't there at all. His eyes, usually a deep amethyst and so full of confidence and determination, now looked hollow, grim, and… dead.

Anzu vaguely remembered trying to comfort Rebecca, all the while looking at Yuugi -- no, not Yuugi, but his other self. Even then, that wasn't right either. What she was looking at was the shell of the man Anzu had come to admire and care about very deeply.

He was strong, reliable, loyal, all the things Anzu could only hope to be. Not that Yuugi or the rest of the group did not have the same attributes, but she had always felt a strange pull towards the Nameless Pharaoh. Something told her that he needed her. Logically, in her mind, that made some sense. Jounouchi was often too brash, Honda was not nearly as assertive, Bakura was almost never present, and Otogi didn't share as much history with them. And Yuugi… Well, Yuugi was his other half.

What do you do when your other half is missing? She had never felt so helpless in her life. She couldn't rely on her words to uplift his spirit, not when half of it was taken away and the other half so deep in self-pity that it could hardly count as being there at all. But she kept trying anyway, making a point of sitting next to him on the train en route to the airport. She tried flashing him one of her (she hoped) dazzling smiles but it was futile for his eyes only saw that moment where Yuugi pushed him out of the Orichalcos seal. She even attempted one of her small pep talks, trying to get a response, anything to let her know that he was still… alive.

She was rewarded with a small, "I'm sorry," and his abrupt departure. Minutes later, she heard a small _thud_ and she swore she could feel his heart breaking. She saw Jounouchi and Honda look at her and she knew as well as they did that if Mazaki Anzu, the cheerleader, the preacher of friendship, could not rekindle the other Yuugi's hope, then nothing could.

Ironically, it was the duel with Haga on top of the train that lit that flame. If the Pharaoh won, then he would tell him where Yuugi was being kept. She saw a faint glimmer in the Pharaoh's eyes, fueled by that small hope. She was glad, albeit a little jealous that, once again, she had been outshone by a _card game_. But when she saw him draw card after card, calling out attack after every heart-wrenching attack on Haga, even after he had already lost, that small fire of hope dying in his eyes, Anzu did the only thing she knew how to do.

She held onto him. Grabbing his arm, she begged him to stop, afraid that he would revert back to being a cold, empty, lifeless shell. And when he jerked his arm and _ordered_ her to let him go, it came to her then, that she could not, _would _not, let him succumb to the darkness, to the abyss of hopelessness she knew he would never return from if she didn't do something about it.

And, at this point, she was the only one who could. She may not know how to duel to save her life but she was one of the most stubborn people you'd ever meet. Heaven forbid she give up on Yuugi and if she wasn't allowed to surrender, then neither was he. She was not going to let him turn into a ghost, she promised.

It was the least she could do, for both Yuugi's.

So she held on, for dear life, grasping for whatever was left of his spirit, hoping that it would be enough to save him.

* * *

I hope this wasn't bad for my first shot at an introspective view of Anzu and Yami. When I first watched the English dub, my initial feelings of Anzu was of annoyance. I mean, we have a girl who can't even duel, which is the center of this show. But as I watched her character more and learned about her background via canon, then I came to appreciate what she had done for Yami. It must be hard being the odd one out, being the only female and not being able to duel. But when most people would have given up and left, she stuck around, doing what she knew how to do - hold on, NOT give in, and remind her friends that having _some_ hope is way better than having _none._


	2. I'm Incomplete Without You

**WHAT I COULDN'T SAY**

Before we go on, I just want to thank those who have read, reviewed, and put my story on alert. Ya'll rock! This one is inspired by the Backstreet Boys' (yeah, I'm sorta old school, get over it) "Incomplete."

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

* * *

_Title:_ I'm Incomplete Without You._  
Timeline:_ A few months after Atemu's departure._  
Pairings:_ Atemu&Anzu_  
Rating:_ K_  
Word count: _576

* * *

Atemu, now departed Pharaoh of Egypt, closed his eyes and sighed in mild content, the soft breeze caressing his skin and the endless fields of reeds tickling his legs. He thought back to his final moments with his friends back in the world of the living. Though he had taken residence in the Fields of Aaru for some time now, he can still remember everything as if he had left yesterday - the final attack, the tears, the hugs, the sad yet encouraging smiles…

Soft cerulean orbs...

He opened his eyes and attempted to block it out but it was too late, it was always too late, for the image of her beautiful, bright eyes was laser-printed onto his brain. He looked up into the clear blue skies and winced. He had always thought nature itself was bound in her eyes. When she was happy, her eyes resembled the brilliant blue skies he was now gazing upon. When she was angry, her irises swirled like angry waves of an ocean in the middle of a hurricane. And when she was distraught, like she was that day, they turned dull and misty like storm clouds.

Glancing around him, he saw his family and the members of his royal court frolicking in the sunlight. He smiled as he saw Mana twirling and laughing in the reeds. He should be happy, he should be joining them, ecstatic that he was finally reunited with his friends and family.

In truth, he could not have felt more alone.

Anzu had always been there, right beside him, in person, in his mind, even in his dueling deck. He had always felt comforted in her presence; whatever storm was brewing inside him, she would always be able to quell it with her magnificent azure eyes. There was something about being in her company that made him feel like he was bathed in a soft, healing light.

Now, as he longingly gazed up at the sky, he felt something… lacking. It wasn't like the absence he felt from being separated from Yuugi. That had been in his mind, not to dismiss his former partner as nothing more than some kind of mental roommate, but _this_ seemed more internal, as if something had been taken away from his very _soul_. It was the kind of absence that made his heart ache and his stomach clench.

It was the _only _kind of absence that stemmed from the memory of _her_ blue eyes, _her_ silky chocolate brown hair, _her_ slender yet graceful form, _her_ warmth as she wrapped her arms around him and drew him close, _her_ sweet scent, the brightness and pureness of _her_ soul…

Recalling it all now, he realized that he had never felt more complete standing by her side than he ever did with anyone else.

How odd, he further mused, that despite the fact that he had been separated from his closest friends for some 3000 odd years, he had not missed them like he missed Anzu right now.

Keeping his eyes locked onto the skies, he gave the tiniest smirk for he knew she would join him, not soon, but someday when her time was due. He would make it so, somehow. He _was _the King of Games, after all.

In the meantime, he would look up at the skies, marvel at the memory of her blue eyes, and deal with the longing, until that missing piece of his soul returned.

* * *

I hope I portrayed the "incomplete" theme well enough. I also need to come up with better synonyms of blue. Not that there are much, but still. Thanks for reading, guys! Also, happy belated New Year! Haha!


	3. 20 Things Anzu Can't Forget about Atemu

**WHAT I COULDN'T SAY**

Thank you for reading, reviewing, watching, and favoriting this story! It really means the world to me.  
Oh, and I know I have another story to update but this concept just really wouldn't get out of my head.

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. My life would be a lot easier if I did. I think.

* * *

_Title: _20 Things Anzu Can't Forget About Atemu._  
Timeline:_ Some time after Atemu's departure._  
Pairings:_ Anzu&Atemu (one-sided? You be the judge.)_  
Rating: _K_  
Word count_: 881

* * *

1. Anzu will forever remember his name. How can she not when it's etched on the cartouche she will never take off and be without?

2. Anzu can't forget the way his eyes turned crimson every time one of them was in danger and the way it sent delicious shivers down her spine.

3. Anzu can't forget the tight grip he held on her wrist when she was about to fall off the mountainside, en route to the "Stone Wilderness." Despite her terror, she did not miss the look of fear in his eyes. Fear for _her_. As she absent-mindedly rubs her wrist, she realizes she won't forget that look either.

4. Anzu can't bear to remember the way he nearly killed Haga on top of the train. The murderous intent on his face will forever be etched onto her memory.

5. Anzu will never forget the agony in his voice as he screamed, after he had lost Yuugi again in that godforsaken valley.

6. Much to her dismay, Anzu can't remember the expression on his face when she was controlled by Marik and forced to put herself as live bait for him. She wishes she knew the pain he must have felt, not to boost her own ego, but to apologize for causing him so much distress.

7. Anzu will always remember his courage and loyalty to their friends. She strives to maintain the same amount of aptitude for them, as well. It's the least she can do, for all of them.

8. Everyday, Yuugi shows more semblance to him, not just in body but in personality. Despite knowing that they are two different people, Anzu can't help but be reminded of him every time she looks at her best friend.

9. He had never been alive in this world. Anzu has a hard time remembering this, as every time he looked at her, touched her, held her, she felt the warmth in his hands and saw the life in his eyes. It is these attributes she can't ever forget.

10. Anzu can't forget the sweet light on his face when he was finally reunited with Yuugi's soul. It was a look she had never seen before and knew it was only reserved for his lighter half. Deep down, a part of her wishes she didn't remember.

11. Anzu will forever remember how he specifically thanked her for the cartouche after defeating Zorc. She had felt special, important, and _useful_ for once. She will never forget the gratitude in his eyes meant, in that moment, only for her.

12. Anzu will never forget the thumbs up and wink he gave her, and how it had temporarily quelled her worries about their trip to India. He had always seemed to possess that magical talent of dispelling her fears and making her feel safe.

13. Anzu can hardly remember the first few days after he left. To be honest, it was all a blur. The only thing she could remember were the tears.

14. Anzu will never forget all the fear she shoved down every time they (he) rushed into something dangerous. She never wanted to be a hindrance to anyone (him). More importantly, she wanted to show him she can be brave. All her efforts were rewarded when he finally did tell her that he couldn't do it all without her. She will never forget that moment.

15. Anzu does not _like_ to remember the feel of his gaze that night on the ship to Egypt when she visited Yuugi in his room. She could not see him but she _felt _him there, watching her. She had never felt more transparent in her life, nor more cowardly. She missed the chance to tell him she loved him but what did it matter anyway? He had already known and she already knew the outcome.

16. Anzu will never forget the warmth of his arms around her when he grabbed her from that zombie capsule monster. Despite her resent at always being the damsel in distress, she took comfort in the safety of his arms. And she will never forget the emptiness she felt when he released her.

17. Anzu can't bring herself to remember the moment he stepped out of the world of the living and into the Fields of Aaru. To do so was to relive the pain all over again.

18. Anzu will always remember the date Yuugi had set them up on. They grew closer that day, discovering things about each other and about themselves. For him, it was a piece of his past. For her, it was her growing feelings for him.

19. Anzu can't forget how his eyes softened at Yuugi's sobbing form after the Ceremonial Duel. For a fleeting second, she saw his usual cool demeanor waver as he realized the impact his departure would have on his friends.

20. Out of all the things Anzu can't forget, she will always remember the bond they shared and the adventures they had. She will forever remember the pain, the joy, the tears, and the laughs. She will never forget how much she had grown, how much they had all grown. Everything she had learned about herself she owed in part to him. She would not be who she was today without him. He may be dead, but in her mind and heart, he will always live on.

* * *

Okay, so it's a little more than 20 things, haha. It's been awhile since I've watched the anime or read the manga so some of this is speculative. Regardless, I hope it was to your satisfaction.

For clarity:

3, 4, 5, 10 are part of the DOMA/Orichalcos arc.  
6 is Battle City.  
12, 16 are part of the Capsule Monsters arc.  
15 takes place when Yuugi and company are en route to the place where the Ceremonial Duel occurs.

As always, thank you for reading, folks.


	4. You'll Always Be With Me

**WHAT I COULDN'T SAY**

Wow, I did not expect my last chapter to have as many reviews as it did! Thank you! As for those who put this story on alert and on their favorites list, you have my deepest gratitude. Every single reader (and I see the numbers!) has put a smile on my face.

This piece is inspired by the song "There's Us," sung by the Backstreet Boys. It happens to be a cover of Alexz Johnson, who originally sang this song.

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Never have, never will. Don't own the song, either.

* * *

_Title:_ You'll Always Be With Me._  
Timeline:_ Alternate timeline, in which Atemu has his own body. Set after the events of the Ceremonial Duel._  
Pairings:_ Atemu&Anzu_  
Rating:_ K+ (for slightly depressing theme)_  
Word count: _917

* * *

Mutou Atemu strode over to her, a smile plastered on his face. His heart wasn't in it but he promised Anzu he would always smile on this particular day, no matter what he was feeling inside. She had always told him that if he can muster the strength to smile, even a false one, then he can surely manage to overcome whatever burden he was dealing with.

He never really understood but he listened, regardless. Sometimes her advice worked, other times, like now, it did not.

Clutching the photo album he held, he quickened his pace, wondering how she always managed to smile, like nothing was amiss. Even when the world threatened to fall apart, she still lit up the fires of his heart with the brightness of her sapphire eyes and the melody of her laugh. Such a simple dreamer, yet she wormed her way into the crevices of his well-guarded heart and has dwelled there long before he even realized it.

He sat next to her, the grass cool beneath his fingers despite the heat of the sun. It truly was a beautiful day, one that would have, should have, brought joy to him.

Maybe Anzu would make him feel better. She always did have a knack for doing that. He hoped she would like the surprise he prepared for her. He greeted her, giving her a light kiss, before drawing the photo album to his lap.

"I have a surprise for you, Anzu," he said. He did not look at her but he could almost feel her curious and questioning gaze. "It's a photo album. I thought we would take a trip down memory lane and relish in our earlier days. It was the guys' idea so the credit should really go to them."

He flipped the album open to the first page and gazed upon the beauty captured in the photographs. _Simply dazzling_, he mused. He pointed to one particular photograph.

"There's me, looking down at my shoes," he chuckled. "The one smiling like the sun, that's you." It was one of their earlier photographs, when he was not yet accustomed to smiling in front of a tiny slim box that produced a blinding flash of light at the push of a button. He looked completely awkward, while she looked absolutely _radiant_.

"What were you thinking?" he asked. "What was the song inside your head?" How could someone so pure fall in love with someone who had the power to send people to a darkness outside the confines of reality? But it was pointless to ask such questions. Love knew no bounds nor held any judgments. Her heart had chosen and when Mazaki Anzu made a decision, all of heaven and Earth could not sway the girl to change her mind.

Turning the page and pointing to another photograph, he grinned. "There's us, going on about a band, working out how we'd play our hands." It was another one of their earlier photographs. They were seated at a piano, Anzu showing him the wonders of modern music. He remembered that day clearly. It was the day he told her he loved her. _I lay there dreaming, later, all alone in my bed_, he thought. He lay there for hours, fantasizing about their future.

"If I was stupid, maybe careless, so were you," he teased. "We are one, as you liked pointing out." Grinning at her, he continued flipping the pages. Looking at all their memories, he realized how lucky they were to have had a chance to share a piece of their life together.

"Not everything is supposed to come true," he thought aloud. "Some words are best unsaid. Some love is not really love at all." He knew they were fortunate to have found a love so true and pure in each other.

"I'll keep everything I shared with you," he promised. "And that's enough. There's us." No matter what happened, he would never let their memories go. Even though he couldn't be near her, he would always cherish her.

_Freeze frame, I'm not about to cry_, he chastised himself. He promised her he would smile, at least for today. _It's too late for us to change, why try?_ What's done was done. To be honest, he wouldn't change a single thing about them.

"I've got a camera tucked away inside my heart," he murmured. _So I'll always keep you here with me_, he mentally added. "If I'm a loser, or just unlucky, so are you." _Because you chose me._ He closed the photo album and looked up at the skies, feeling the soft breeze rustle through his hair and the sun caress his skin.

"Somewhere, between then and now, I looked away when you said we'll never change," he said. _I was afraid. You were so committed to me, so sure that we'd last forever. I should have known better than to doubt you._

"You've always been here, Anzu," he said, tears cascading down his cheeks. He didn't care. She had already seen through his false bravado. "I still remember your last words to me: 'And if you think what might have been, you'll lose today and we've got songs to play.'" He faced her and gingerly touched the engraving on her gravestone.

_Mazaki Anzu  
August 18, 1986-March 10, 2008  
Beloved daughter, courageous comrade, unforgettable friend.  
May the heavens rejoice at the return of their angel._

"For as long as my heart beats, our song will play. You'll be with me, always."

* * *

August 18 is actually Anzu's birthday. However, I was unable to find an exact year. I could have done the math, as she was 15 when the manga first debuted, but I didn't. Besides, 1986 is kind of a significant year for me. Her "death" date, March 10, also holds a place in my heart.

We've all read about, thought about, and written about the impact on Anzu when the Pharaoh left so I thought I'd switch it up a bit by portraying the impact Anzu's untimely death would have on the Pharaoh. This certainly isn't a unique concept but it _is _sort of rare_._

In any case, enjoy. Happy belated Valentine's day, happy belated Chinese New Year.


End file.
